Maybe we'll never know

     I think losing someone you weren't ready to let go of causes the most pain. It can rip you to pieces after making you feel whole. It can break everything that was once unified. It can make you beg for mercy because the pain is too much to bear.    
     It's not losing them that hurts so bad, though. It's the fact that in the process, you lose a piece of yourself. When you love someone or something so much, you give them a piece of your heart, a moment of your time, a fraction of your life. They become a piece of you, and sometimes it's so strong that you don't even remember who you were without them, nor can you imagine yourself without them.
     Sometimes in our lives, we make decisions that benefit our well-being or the well-being of others, and we prepare ourselves to let go, just as warriors prepare for a battle. They know what's to come, WE know what's to come. They've accepted it, WE'VE accepted it. 
     However, sometimes the things we love are ripped from our very arms with no warning, with no preparation. And that's when it hurts the most. Whatever or whoever we loved is drug from our clinging arms, violently ripping a piece of ourselves away with it. And sometimes it only takes a small piece, but sometimes it takes so much that when the dust settles, all we can see in the mirror are the broken pieces held together by bloody strings and dull eyes. 
     Trying to put yourself back together after these losses feels downright impossible. Sometimes that's because it actually is impossible. Maybe it's because we don't want to put ourselves back together, or maybe it's because we don't know how. Maybe we'll never know.