I never wanted to love you

I never wanted to love you,

But I did.

And then you broke me.

The eyes that used to sparkle

     with hope,

Are now dull and hazy

     with fear.

The smile that used to 

     light up the room,

Now curls down

     at the corners.

The heart that

     used to love,

Now lies

     in pieces.

I never wanted to love you.

I never wanted to hurt. 

Every time I think it's getting better,

     I see your face,

          I hear your laugh,

               I feel your presence,

     In a crowded room,

          When I'm alone,

               When I need you.

And then you're gone,

All over again.

The wounds that I always think

     are healing,

Rip open, a little deeper

     each time. 

I forget I had you.

Then I remember.

Then I remember that I lost you.

And every time it hurts

     a little more than the last.

They said it gets better,

But it doesn't.

Why did you do this to me?

     Why does it still hurt?

          Why won't it go away?

I never wanted to love you.

But I did.